This month’s theme is customer experience. But instead of diving into data dashboards, journey mapping, or A.I. chatbots whispering sweet nothings to your customers, let’s take a stroll through the haunted amusement park of awful service. These are the moments that make loyal customers disappear faster than your dignity in a karaoke bar. And yes, one of mine involves a Liberty Mutual agent and an ad campaign that made me want to switch insurance companies just to get away from their marketing.

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Here are ten bite-sized disasters in customer experience—mini-meltdowns with maximum impact:

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1. The Phantom Tech Support‍

I called tech support and got a chipper A.I. voice saying, “Tell me how I can help.” I said, “My laptop’s on fire.” It replied, “Did you say you’d like to upgrade your data plan?”

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2. The Upsell Uprising

‍I walked into a store to buy socks. The clerk insisted I needed a loyalty card, a scented candle, and a gold-plated toe separator. I left barefoot and emotionally exhausted.

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3. The Gaslight Refund

‍Returned a defective blender. The manager asked if I had “perhaps hallucinated the malfunction” and offered me a store credit for half the value—minus a “restocking fee” and a fee for “emotional disruption.”

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4. The Motivational Hold Message

‍While on hold for 43 minutes, I was serenaded by an endless loop saying, “Your call is very important to us!”—delivered with the emotional range of a Roomba reading Shakespeare.

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5. The “We Value You, Stranger” Email

‍After spending $1,200 on custom furniture, I got a thank-you email addressed to “DearInsertNameHere.” A day later, they asked if I’d like to leave a 5-star review. I replied with a single star and a brief thesis on irony.

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6. The Haunted Chatbot‍

I needed help changing my flight. The airline’s A.I.chatbot insisted on calling me “Gerald” and suggested I book a cruise to compensate for my frustration. I never found out who Gerald was, but I hope he’s doing okay.

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7. The Menu Maze

‍The restaurant had a QR-code-only menu. My phone died. When I asked for a paper menu, the waiter stared like I’d requested a cuneiform tablet and said, “We don’t believe in paper here.”

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8. The Vanishing Agent

‍The insurance agent showed up late, looked vaguely familiar, and I realized: he was the guy in the Liberty Mutal ad—the annoying yellow-shirted character! I fled the scene. My premium? Peace of mind.

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9. The “Thanks for Nothing” Loyalty Program‍

After ten years of buying overpriced coffee, my reward was a tiny keychain that said, “Platinum Bean.” No discounts. No free coffee. Just a shiny reminder of my gullibility.

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10. The Feedback Trap‍

After an online purchase, I received five separate emails begging for feedback. I gave a mediocre rating. The CEO personally emailed to say my “negativity hurts our growth metrics. ” I responded with a 1-star haiku.

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Closing Thoughts‍

Customer experience isn’t rocket science—it’s people science. We laugh at these horror stories because we’ve all been there. Whether you're leading a team, building A.I. tools, or just trying to buy socks without emotional trauma, the lesson is the same: empathy, clarity, and common sense beat flashy campaigns and clever automation every time.

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And yes, Liberty Mutual—I’m still not over the yellow shirt.

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